Fostered or Adopted
©2008, Steph Gutmann
There is a difference between a child who is adopted into a family and a child who is fostered by a family. A child who is adopted had a sense of belonging, a sense of identity, security, being wanted, being part of a family… there are less difficulties as an adult for a child who is adopted because they have a deeper understanding than most, of the fact they were chosen to join a family and were accepted for who they are and not rejected. They were invited into one home, staying until they were old enough to move out just as a child with both parents would do.
A child who is fostered on the other, often hand finds life tougher; They aren’t always accepted, there isn’t always a sense of belonging – or a sense of being accepted – being passed from one family to the next – and it’s “each man for himself!” You are responsible for yourself – no-one else wants to take accountability or responsibility for you. There is more insecurity, more defensive attitudes, and less reliability on the family – for this child, family is often the friends you are with who understand you.
There is a marked difference!
As children of God, we have become adopted into His family – we are not fostered, we are adopted. We are accepted, we are welcomed in – the family would notice if you weren’t around – the family will not be the same without you
Romans 8:15: For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
And yet… so many Christians bring into their adoptive home the same attitudes and behaviours they had whilst in the world – that same level of distrust of people, that same level of insecurity, that same fearfulness that if you do anything wrong, you will be kicked out, or that sense that there is a better family just waiting to find you – so you can’t get too attached to this home.
There seems to be more and more of a “wanderer” type Christian within the Church today. More a sense of not really belonging somewhere – yet where we attend the most is where we will call home. The local Church is no longer consistent in its membership as people are wandering between this Church and that Church – between this leader and that leader – between this teaching style and that teaching style.
And yet – God has not placed us in a foster home to wait until He finds us – He places us in a home of adoption – where He expects us to be nurtured, to grow, to become mature with a real sense of identity and security of whom He is and who we are to Him.
A child who has grown up being passed from foster home to foster home is not as solid as an adult (please don’t lynch me, hear me out). How often have we heard about this adult engaged in this problem – or involved in that illegal activity and blame it on their up-bringing? I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel to be removed, taken or thrown out of my natural home, but I have heard many testimonies of those who were moved around a lot – and the back-ground is not solid, the foundation for the child’s development is not solid & as an adult they are not solid.
So brother… sister – why would you allow yourself to be passed around on the wind of change and moved around from this “home” to that “home”? Can a Christian mature if they are not committed or consistent… Being a Christian is about surviving through the bad times as well as the good… It’s about standing firm – do not be persuaded by what glitters because not all that glitters is gold… Don’t be enticed away from the adoptive home God has placed you in – commitment & consistency are what you would expect from your family members – it is also what your family members – and you Father require from you.
We all have a part to play – if you hold back from playing your part, and if you hold back because you have one foot here one week and another foot here another – the family suffers… not just you.
